Our Journey for Parenthood via IVF.

This is my journal for our IVF process.  I will not publish this until we are ready to, probably after the first trimester if Linh gets pregnant.  But I will date each entry so that I can put my thoughts down and you can follow my emotional roller coaster as it develops.  

3/28/2015 

My wife Linh and I began family planning since the beginning of our relationship in 2006.  Linh was still in school for her BS in Education and we decided it would be best to wait until she finished school and earned her teaching credential.  In 2007, I decided to go back to school, so we delayed conceiving until I graduated with my Master's in Social Work.  In January 2012, we actively were trying to get pregnant.  Due to my spinal cord injury, it was a difficult process.  Without going into too much detail, I am able to have intercourse and ejaculate. After about 6 months, we began to worry.  In July 2013, I had my first semen analysis the results were not favorable: low sperm count and low mobility.  I was devastated, my manhood and my ability to reproduce was facing an uphill battle.

We decided to meet with the Kaiser REI clinic in Fremont in the spring of 2014. The doctor suggested we go straight into IVF (in vitro fertilization - I'll explain more later).  However, she allowed us to try a few cycles of IUI (intrauterine insemination).  IUI is the process of taking my sperm, cleaning it, and injecting them into my wife's uterus to try to conceive.  My wife did one round unmedicated and one round medicated.  During the medicated round, she took oral pills to stimulate more follicles. After two attempts, we gave up.  It was emotionally taxing and we both agreed it was best to wait and do IVF.  With IUI and my low sperm count/mobility, we only had less than a 5% chance of conceiving.  We went in knowing this but wanted to try it.  Fortunately, my insurance covered the IUI and it was only an office copay of $25.  Normally the procedure can cost closer to $1,000 per cycle/attempt.  

Now the road to IVF.  Our Kaiser insurance did not cover IVF, so I changed my medical insurance to one that did have coverage...in fact they covered 90%!  IVF normally costs up to $15,000-20,000 with medication and ICSI (I'll explain further).  With my insurance our copay was just over $1000.  In Vitro Fertilization is an intervention to assist people with conceiving by removing eggs from the female, sperm from the male, place them into a petri dish and hope the sperm can find the egg.  My wife calls this the base model of IVF.  Well with me, my swimmers ain't swimming!  So the next step is actually taking a single sperm and injecting them directly into an egg, this process is called intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI).

We originally planned to do our IVF cycle in May, but since I had a job opportunity coming, we moved it up. In March, we began the hormone injections to prepare my wife for the egg retrieval.  The goal of the hormones are to ensure we can retrieve up to 20 eggs.  She responded well and we were able to retrieve 15 eggs last week and 11 were injected with my sperm.  The next day we received the fertilization report from the doctor and only 3 embryos survived and she said they looked "perfect" for 1 day embryos.  This is abnormally low and we became concerned.  Ideally, we should have had 8 fertilized embryos. We would not get another report until Saturday (today).  The two days in between were torture.  Did the embryos survive?  Are they multiplying and dividing like they should?  Are we going to have kids?  The unknown is torture.

This morning we received a call with the updated fertilization report.  ALL THREE EMBRYOS SURVIVED and have divided into 8 cell 3rd day embryos.  They are growing normally and look great.  Our IVF transfer appointment was reschedule from today to Monday so that we can allow the embryos grow into the blastocyst stage (google it).  Basically, this allows us to determine which embryos will be the strongest and has the highest potential for becoming babies.  We hope to transfer 2 and freeze 1 for the future.  Yes, I said TWO EMBRYOS.  Due to the high stress, the cost, and the difficulty to conceive, we figured let's "buy one and get one free."  Our doctor thinks that with Linh's perfect health/labs/etc, transferring 2 embryos will give us an 80% chance of conceiving a singleton, and 60% chance of conceiving twins. YUP TWINS!  We are ok with having twins and are prepared for it if it happens  (how much can you really be prepared for twins?!?!  LOL).  

This is our journey so far.

3/30/2015 9:00AM

Linh received a phone call from our doctor.  She stated that all three embryos are growing and two are graded: 5AA and 2BB.  The last one we do not know the grade.  Basically 5AA the embryo is in the blastocyst stage of development and is very ideal.  The 2BB embryo is still developing into a blastocyst.  We have a 12:45 appointment and we have decided to transfer the two stronger embryos.  The last one will remain in the incubator to allow it to develop further so that it can be viable for cryogenic freezing for future use.

3/30/2015 9:37PM
It's just surreal.  We went into the IVF transfer room and I was full of excitement.  The nurse comes in and preps Linh for the transfer, we sign some paperwork, and she hands us a picture of our embryos.  Yes!  Pictures of our potential baby or babies!  As stated earlier, our doctor expects an 80% chance that we have a singleton and 60% chance for twins since we are using two embryos for the transfer.

Our babies!  Well at this stage 5AA and 2BB embryos.


3/31/2015
My wife informs me that our doctor left a message stating that the last embryo was able to grow into a 5AA and was viable for freezing.  Amazing news!  We have one opportunity for another transfer in the future if we decide to have another baby.

4/2/2015
My wife said I wasn't very supportive over the past two days.  We had a small argument and she was very emotional.  I explained to her yesterday that I didn't have the opportunity to adjust to her emotional mood swings caused by the hormones and the embryos being transferred into her body.  Of course I want to be there to support, love, protect, and be her security blanket.  We have had communication problems through out our relationship but we have always been able to communicate well enough to resolve the issue at hand.  I told her last night that I will give it my all to ensure she feels safe and can be emotional with me.  She is technically carrying my child (children) and I have to support her the best I can.  If you are reading this...I LOVE YOU!

Regarding the embryos, I'm keep researching and reading blogs and articles about IVF and pregnancy.  When will the embryos attach to the uterine lining?  How many cells are each embryo now?  The unknown is very dark for me and it scares the living sh*t out of me.  Not knowing if we are actually pregnant, not knowing how many embryos attached, am I going to be a dad?  All of this is frightening and we just don't know until my wife takes the pregnancy test that is scheduled on April 8, 2015.  I do my best not to think of it, but It's a constant irritant in the back of my head.

4/8/2015 - The Results Are In!
I've been anxious about this day.  Over the past week, Linh has complained about sore and full breasts, one of the many symptoms of pregnancy.  For the past few days I've been looking up anything I can find about parenting from a wheelchair with very little results.  I think this blog will have a large section about parenting from a wheelchair for others to learn from me and my mistakes and accomplishments.

Today Linh went to give a blood sample to test if we are pregnant or not.  Her appointment was at 9:00AM and was told we should have a phone call after 1:00PM with the results.  Our doctor calls Linh with great news, we are pregnant.  Linh calls me right away and tells me the good news, I couldn't believe it and asked her if she was f-ing with me.  Her HCG numbers are pretty high so we might have a chance of having twins.  Linh has an appointment for a 2nd confirming blood test on Friday 4/10/2015 and then a sonogram in two weeks to confirm if we have a singleton or twins.  Either way, I'M GOING TO BE A DAD!!!

4/22/2015 - Our first ultrasound
What an amazing experience!  At this ultrasound we found out if we are having a singleton or twins...well it's TWINS!  We are so excited and can't wait to find out the sexes!  We also were able to hear the heartbeats of each of our baby.  Both heartbeats were strong at 170-180 bps.

5/6/2015 - Last ultrasound @ Reproductive Science Center
Today was our last visit at RSC as we "graduate" from our infertility doctor to an OB/GYN.  During the ultra sound we saw our children dancing...they look like dancing jelly beans!  I watch this video often and shared it with our immediate family and a handful of friends.  It's amazing to see life growing inside my wife.

Fast forward.  Today is June 3, 2015 and last night Linh allowed me to announce our great news on social media and now I'm adding my new post to my blog.  What an amazing journey so far and the twins are not even born yet!  We started to try to conceive in January 2012...3.5 years ago.  After two failed IUI attempts, switching insurances, then rushing to start the IVF because of a job change, we ended up pregnant with twins!  December 15, 2015 is the official due date, however, since we are expecting twins, it will be about 4 weeks earlier.

Here is our announcement photo.  We are huge Oakland A's fans, we are season ticket holders and had our first "non-date" at an A's game in 2006.